Approximately Adam: Talk About A Depressing Weekend

March 13, 2005
Talk About A Depressing Weekend

I just got off the phone from a 52 minute and change phone call with my parents, and mostly with my mom. I'd missed calling them last night because I went out to catch a movie at the cheap theater - "Hide & Seek" (I wouldn't recommend it.)
Since last night, I've been managing a low scale depression that was spurred by my roommate Jon starting to set his alarm on the weekend to squeeze in a few more hours of computer games and culminated in the lonely experience of going to the mall, not finding what I was looking for, then going to the movies, having an OK time, but then having to wait for the bus.
Spending forty-five minutes in the lobby of a movie theater waiting for a bus is perhaps one of the loneliest experiences on God's green earth. Surrounded by relationships - friends, families, and couples - while so utterly solitary is a truly awful experience when living a relatively solitary existence as it is.
Then when the alarm went off again this morning, I realized that the loss of my weekend catch-up sleep might in fact persist through the remainder of the quarter. This fact made me downright anxious. The sum of all of these experiences coupled with the fact that I finally stood up for myself only to have my reasonable request utterly shot down culminated in a low-scale approximation of how I felt the first half of the year. This is equally built upon by the fact that my hearing has apparently adapted to the ear plugs such that the early morning typing now re-enters my head unfettered.
If there is a bright side, it is looking towards the coming week. This is when half the mornings he is gone before I get up, I have two hours for a very leisurely breakfast while reading the paper, and three two hour blocks over the course of the week when I am relatively guaranteed to have the room to myself. I try to only write these journal entries when I can approach my experiences from a worthwhile or atleast optimistic point of view. I have no such view point tonight, but to not report back would be to spend my days with this poison eating away from the inside. The only optimism I have is that tomorrow brings with it a fresh new week full of opportunity.

^{posted by Adam at 22:22 |}

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