Approximately Adam: An All Too Static Existence

February 28, 2005
An All Too Static Existence

Well, my friend John wanted me to update, so here it is. If this break home has taught me anything, it's that my efforts to freeze my life in it's tracks have been more successful than I could have hoped. This fact is not paying off the dividends that I'd imagined, however, because the world around me has kept moving.
On a spur of the moment thing, I went out to the movies with two of my friends from high school, Ryan and Kate. They were still very recognizable as they people I'd spent time with, but the experience - both that night and the following one at my house until five AM - showed me exactly how much the world can move when you're not keeping pace. They couldn't wait to get back to school - they had lives waiting for them there. I have spent my past span of weeks waiting to jumpstart my life again on visits home. It is only now that I realize how drastic a mistake this may prove to be.
I mean, what have I risked? What have I tried? How have I expanded myself? I let myself sink into the old cliches of who I am and what I'm doing and meanwhile, I have achieved literally no milestones during my time at R.I.T. I am afraid of leaving R.I.T. because it will mean letting go of what connections and bonds I have made there. And yet, when I compare them to high school, they are meager and frail and half-hearted in comparison. I need to feel like those months I've spent are leading me towards someplace.
For the first time in my life, I'm not scrambling to put on the brakes. I can only hope it's not too late to regain my momentum.

^{posted by Adam at 00:59 |}

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