November 29, 2004
Laptops ruleWell, here I am it's 11:17 pm and I feel pretty much as free as this wretched place will allow me. I'm still relatively friendless and the weather/walking still leaves much to be desired. But I didn't realize how much my horrible living situation was negatively affecting me until I came here. My ass is sore, my mouse doesn't like being mobile, and I can't watch TV directly. But it's quiet, and bright. I was talking with people for a while, and I wasn't miserable. I have a clarity of focus that I haven't had here since I arrived, save for home visits. For the first time in a long time, I feel like this year might just be survivable, after all. While, yes, it's true that the classes themselves may crush me, it's VERY reassuring to know that I have a method of escape, even if it's only after nine and only inside my own head.
It also says something that the lobby outside Gracie's - a very public place - is still quieter and more inviting than my dorm room.
posted by Adam at 23:22 |
November 21, 2004
Backtrack the day, bitches.I'm writing now because I'm at a place of emotional satisfaction at the moment that I fear R.I.T. will completely and utterly kill, and I wanted to lock it into stone and protect it before that could happen. I think it happened when the Lucasfilm logo splashed across the big screen during the trailer for The Incredibles, but I got some of my joy back for living; I remember what it feels like to wake up each more with a bit of gleeful anticipation. For the first time in a long time, I'm not going to be going to bed feeling like I've checked another day off towards death. I fear the ending of this trip because I'm know it's very probable that whatever passion and desire and life direction I find over the course of the remaining week of my stay home could be eaten away within a few hours of return. But for now I don't worry about that; if my soul's going to be crushed again, I atleast get another seven and a half days of living as a human being again.
posted by Adam at 01:21 |
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Adam Freelance Film Critic
Albany, NY
Boston, MA
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