Approximately Adam: Time and Perception.

July 02, 2005
Time and Perception.

It's amazing how time manages to change everything. Tonight I had reconnected with three people I'd lost touch with, and the results said alot about exactly where I am in life.
Having a near-miss with the first as I was leaving work today, I popped online and had what ended up being one of the best conversations I'd ever had with her. There was real give-and-take, and the fascination that comes with a person still very much open to evolving; the person I spoke to today is not the person I had spoken to before, and dealing with a life in transit like that means that when you force the person to reach a little bit, they're still willing to make the effort. Especially now that I'm realizing that I reach less and less, it's very satisfying coming in contact with someone for whom the possibilities remain virtually limitless.
The other two were the reverse side of that same coin; they had remained virtually stationary, and so the only difference is how the person reacting has changed. As it turns out, that person has changed quite a bit. With Ryan, you take what you get, and the level with which we communicate weren't altered because the give-and-take was still well within the realm of what I could accept and provide. Hang out, have fun with a movie, same story as high school, operating within the same perimeters.
Kate, by contast, has the same allure she's always had; my own experiences have just served to make that allure ineffective with me. Before, she represented the unknown, all hints and no show, full of whispers about forbidden things, but no real peeks. It fascinated me. Now these different eyes see clearly and pierce the veil of mystery to find a sad and lonely person working so desperately to maintain the illusion that it goes from sexy to tragic. She has experienced a little bit of everything, but I don't know if she's ever truly experienced reciprocated love, even of the platonic sort. Instead of buying into the game, I played along so as to save her self-esteem one further blow.
It is such a hard world to judge, when the subjects are volatile and the measuring stick is forever in flux.

^{posted by Adam at 02:19 |}

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