This still presents the problem of what do I do about it? How do I get my derailed life back on the tracks. How do I decide on a destination? Who will be there when I arrive? Is the rest of my life going to be able settling for less than I once had or am I moving towards something better, deeper?

For I know in my heart of hearts that that which once satisfied me wouldn't satisfy me forever. It's like a breath of fresh air, a haven, for now. But the crutch won't always be there. Whatever lies in my future, it needs to be something that represents and matches the growth that I myself experience.

How do I pick a career when none of the fields that I am presented with provide the elements in which I could find happiness? If the field is one that I would find satisfying, it's one that would dominate my life and squeeze out everything else from being any sort of substantial element. If the field is one that allows me to "leave my work at the office" it's a field of such boredom and sheer technical prowess that I'd be wasting away for a third of my day.

The bitch of having my life being an open slate before me is that every opportunity represents a possibility for making the wrong decision. If circumstance forces you into a situation, you make the best of it. If you enter into a situation by making a wrong decision, regret hangs over everything that you do. RIT was the first major mistake of my life. I'm keen not to make another for a while.